4 Ways to Own your Unique Experience and Why It matters
No two flowers bloom alike…. So Stop comparing your beauty to someone else's
Honesty Hour: I compare myself a lot! Who doesn't right? It comes in many forms. The comparison comes in the form of a shirtless Instagram thirst trap and it really comes when you are an artist trying to make it in a world full of artists that seem better than you.
“It’s human nature to compare and acknowledge only where we are different and others are better than us!”
I'll be the first one to tell you that it's ok. Don't beat yourself up for it, I would be concerned if this was a feeling you never related to and then ask you what kind of sorcery you are working with.
While I don’t think I am a master at owning who I am and not comparing myself to others, I do think I have gotten better at it and established a couple of strategies to curb these feelings.
“In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.” – Coco Chanel
Look I am going to start by saying this blog entry is the double cheese supreme. A lot of these bullets and anecdotes are going to be cheesy. Stay with me because these are powerful words I wish someone would have told me at some point.
4 Powerful ways to see how special YOU are
Take stock of who you are!
We can’t show or tell people who we are unless we first know who we are. That means sitting down and making lists and getting a clear picture of who you are.
Hi My name is Brayan and sometimes I draw for long periods of time because I need to translate my feelings into art. I get inspiration from the smells of my mom's homemade Mexican food, and the sawdust of the wood my father cuts. I feel the heft of boots weighing down the planks of rented houses and the temporary feelings they hold. Emotions are as much a language to me as Spanish or kitchen seasonings.
Some guiding Questions’ List out What makes You...YOU
Who are you?
What small things make you who you are?
Where are you from literally and metaphorically?
What quirks do you have?
What feelings are central to your being?
What do you feel?
Embrace your Uniqueness
The first step to being grounded in who you are is admitting to yourself that you are…. Unique
Hi My name is Brayan and no person on this planet has experienced what it is like to be me, no one thinks like me, none has the mix of identities that I hold and no one will ever be like me
Insert your name in there! How does that feel? Does saying something like that feel weird or uncomfortable? It may feel uncomfortable because we never really take the time to take stock of how unique our experience is. It is hard for us to admit that we have something that no one on this planet possesses. It may feel strange because in some sense we grew up with people telling us were self-righteous if we think we’re special in any way.
“If a man (or woman or non-binary) does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” – Henry David Thoreau
Your Unique experience creates community
Just because you are unique doesn't mean there aren't people out there with similar experiences. As a gay immigrant artist, I find that my biggest fans and supporters see their experience in mine and follow along on my journey because they find support in that
Put yourself out into the world and you will find yourself reflected back at you!
That means that if you put your authentic self into the world, you will see more people who think, act and feel like you! Its true birds of a feather flock together. Authentic experiences connect us all and create community.
REALIZE WE ALL SERVE A DIFFERENT PURPOSE IN THIS LIFE
When we are looking for guidance, looking for a sign, or looking at others for advice we have to remember that these experiences are so unique we have to adjust as needed.
Ask yourself:
Why do we look towards the stories of others when they don't compare to our struggle, our experience, and our unique purpose?
and at the same time why do, we compare ourselves to someone so different from us?
When I fall into the comparison trap it can be really easy to see how ‘someone is better than me’ I stop myself by asking a couple of questions.
What audience are they serving? What kind of community are they trying to build? how far are they on their creative journey?
Asking these questions lead me out of the death spiral that would usually break my confidence and leave me saying “Why even try”.
Asking these questions lead me to realize
“ I serve a unique perspective, audience, and purpose that no one else shares”
Think about it this way! There are people dedicated to only growing tulips and they really don’t get bothered by the people growing roses full time. They know in the spring millions of people line up in rows to get tulips because they are their favorite flower. They don’t say “well Roses are the most popular flower on the planet” why even bother to grow tulips. It’s because people love tulips and will buy them!
Again this may sound cheesy but it’s true you are here to serve a purpose that no one else shares! Embrace it because it is powerful!
Colorful Takeaways
1. Comparison is human nature, don’t beat yourself up but do recognize it and work toward bettering yourself.
2. Take stock of who you are! It is important to be grounded in your unique experience traits characteristics and quirks.
3. Start embracing your uniqueness! It is going to be your guiding light
4. Create community through your experience. It shows you that you are not alone.
5. We all serve a different purpose on this earth. Don’t compare your rose bush to someone’s daffodil plot.
I hope this helps you come back from the comparison trap! It definitely is a moving target so always give yourself some grace and take it slow.
Peace love and YAMZ aka Brayan!
